In a previous life, I was a great bassplayer.
But then I got into a huge personal crisis in which I got very suicidal. (Yesss, it was also about a girrrlll. Anyway.)
And in this suicidal crisis I got out-of-body experiences. (Maybe someone out there, on the other side, tried to tell me something, I dunno.) I didn’t travel far in these out-of-body experiences, like Robert Monroe* for instance, but far enough to let me realise that I had two bodies, (at least). (* Check his books about his experiences and what he got out of it; he’s awesome.)
And after quite some time, say eight months, that I got these out of body experiences, I realized that I wouldn’t die if I would ‘kill’ myself and that I would live on in that second body. (How stupid could I’ve been; why did it take so long before I understood that? Was it the (soft) drugs and beers I (ab)used)?) So I could kill my (physical) body, but I wouldn’t die. I would live on in that other body without this physical body. And I would live on somewhere else on the other side. Although this living on probably starts where I am at the moment of ‘dying’. Which althogether made me think: “Damm, I won’t die when I kill myself???”
Then I thought: “Well, what’s life about then? If it apparently lasts forever. (And if the things I valued in life caused me so much pain.) Does the fact that you live on on the other side have a meaning for your life on this side? What is the relation between the two? Or isn’t there a relation at all? Is it all the same life? Is there just one life which stretches out over both worlds? Are there just two worlds, realms, or are there more? More levels? And are there maybe more kinda lifes?” (There are teachings, by the Theosophists for instance, which say that there are way more levels.)
So then I started to search for the meaning of life. Because if you can’t kill yourself, which means you have to live on one way or another forever, life must have a reason, a meaning, I thought. (Nowadays I have serious doubts about the meaning of life. Does life have a meaning, I ask myself. I doubt it. Or do we give a meaning to it? Maybe the beauty of it is that life doesn’t have a meaning at all, and that you don’t have to pursue any (quality) goal or whatever. Or follow a teaching… And that you don’t have to obey somebody… A God for instance. But even God seems not to give you any obliged directions, hence the Freedom of Will. Does God have to be obeyed??? It seems that you have to obey God only for your own good. (It seems that God wants you to live your way, because he learns from that. According to quite some NDE’s.) Or is Love the goal or meaning of life, like it’s been said in most NDE’s? (NDE means Near Death Experience.))
A remark in between: The universe is random. Well, within it’s laws, but it’s random. So why should life have a reason? Would life have a reason then, in this random universe? Or would life be as random as the universe? So life is all up to you? Could be.
(Back to my crisis situation.) So I started searching for the meaning of life and I started reading books, books and again, books. About spirituality. And more books. Again about spirituality. And I started to attend lectures, also about spirituality.
And there, alongside those lectures, I met some New-Age people who told me about the Law of Attraction. And that I could get anything I longed for by using this law. (I had troubles satisfying my longings.)
(There is quite some literature about this law. Most recent (as far as I know) is “The Secret”. Which isn’t about a secret at all, because it is about the oldest trick in the, well, a book, and that trick is magic. Magic is probably the oldest religion. Hence praying is based on magic. Well, it’s basically the same, praying and magic. Hence praying works.)
And then I started thinking: Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm. Can I really get anything I long for? Anything??? By using this Law of Attraction? Hm, hm, HM. (This is also said in the Bible about praying, that you can get anything you want by praying. (Mark 11:24.) So I had two reasons to ask myself if this getting ‘anything’ was really true, this law of attraction and praying.) (My first doubt was about me getting anything. I had doubts about me. Was I worth it? To get anyting? Anyway.)
And then, at a certain moment, while reading one of those books and thinking about this getting ‘Anything’ part, I heard a voice – in my head, yes I’m one of those people – which said:
“But you can’t long for something you don’t know”.
(Which meant I couldn’t get something I din’t know either, by this Law of Attraction, where I was thinking about. Because getting something is preceded by a longing for it.)
Which made me think “Huh???”.
But it meant in the first place that I couldn’t get “anything I want” with this Law of Attraction, like these New-Agers said (and like the Bible says about praying), because ‘something you don’t know’ isn’t ‘anyting’. Furthermore, ‘something you don’t know’ is a lot different from ‘anything’, because ‘anything you want’ is limited by what you know and ‘something you don’t know’ isn’t limited, it is infinite.
And if you can’t long for something (you don’t know), you can’t get it either, because for getting something you want, you long for, you need to visualize it, which you can’t, if you don’t know it. (How to visualize something, if you don’t know it??!!?? You can’t!)
(Visualisations are mostly a sub-conscious process, but it’s part of the deal. And you need a visualized image to let gravity, (the real law of attraction), attract what’s alike. That’s the way you get it. And, come to think of it, if you could (consiously) succeed in stopping to visualize, (which you (can) do with meditation), you would have a way to escape from this law of attraction, gravity. But consiously stopping to visualize is very hard to do.)
But it especially meant, this not being able to long for something I didn’t know, that
I only could long for things I already knew.
Which meant I could only get things I already knew by this law of attraction, gravity, because this law attracts those things. And this law could only attract those things. It could only attract things that (already) exists, which something in my mind (already) did.
Moreover… I realized this law of attraction always works. Very probably because it’s the same law as gravity, which is the main law about attraction there is (in the whole universe) and probably the only law about attraction, this gravity*. It can’t be otherwise. And gravity always works. (I couldn’t think of any other law of attraction in the universe.) So you always get, attract, what you want, what you long for, conscious or sub-conscious, since this law of attraction always works. And since you always create in your mind what you want. (And gravity also attracts what’s in your mind. Or what you think of in general, anything what’s in your mind. So it also attracts what you are afraid of, because that is also in your mind.)
So I can only get things I already knew by this law. Bummer. (* Come to think of it, the heavier things get, the more they attract eachother. Which maybe also goes for thoughts, heavy thoughts…)
And these things I already knew are from the past, they are old stuff. How else could I have known them? You can’t know something new. How could you know something new? You can’t.
So these things I already knew (and where I longed for) are from the past, so they are old. Not to say dead. And since they are the only things I can get, these things I only can get are dead.
This is Bummer nr. II.
So by striving to satisfy these longings (for things I already knew) and get what I longed for, by the Law of Attraction, Gravity, I would only get things I already knew, (and you too), which is a lot of rubbish of dead things, attracted by this law of attraction, gravity. (Yes, this law of attraction also attracts dead things, if you are focused on dead things, if you visualize dead things, like we are doing, since we are longing for dead things.)
Which is Bummer nr. III.
(And maybe this law, I said maybe, gravity, only attract dead things, I’m not sure. Maybe it is the clean-up service of the universe. To seperate the material stuff from the non-material, let’s say the spiritual stuff.)
The only way you can live (a) real life is in the Now, living spontaneously, using your intuition, feeling what is there (feeling what you might need) and follow your impulses in the Now to get what you feel, to get what you need. STOP LONGING. Then you don’t in advance (with a forethought, in your mind) create something you already knew. And then you don’t attract old rubbish. And then you won’t get old rubbish. I repeat:
STOP LONGING!
There is no other way to live real life. Real life only exists in the Now, nowhere else. And longing isn’t in the Now. It’s focused on something somewhere else.
Real life is living life. It’s in the Now.
And these personal experiences (and thoughts) started this booklet.
And since eight billion people on this planet are striving to satisfy their longings, their longings for dead things, and get them, through gravity, we end up with this huge pile of dead rubbish we call ‘pollution’. Sigh. O wait, that’s not about my personal life anymore, like this chapter said. Sssorrryyyyy. :))
By the way, this pollution we create is seperated in things we use, which we think are usefull, which are part of our by ourselves created simulation, and things we consider as garbage, which we trow away, in the ocean for instance. (We don’t trow away garbage outside of our planet, so it stays always here.) But even the things we use, the ones we ‘created’, are dead.
Greetings, Ronald. PS I,
PS I: The first part of this ‘teaching’ of mine, in which I explain longing is useless, is terrible. Because I mainly tell you that the way you live leads to death. (And there is nothing to argue against that. I think.) The second part, the conclusian of it all, wherein I say that you have to stop longing, live without longing (for dead things) and start living real life in Nirvana, in the Now, without longings (for dead things), is beautiful, once you try it, once you do it. PS II:
PS II: So we are dying, the way we ‘live’ now. We are dying collectively. And this dying is caused by our longings. Well, the fact that we long for dead things, longings that can be satisfied nevertheless. And then we get smothered by the pile of dead rubbish we create. Well, spiritually we are dead already, as soon as you start longing. And since we long, we are dead already. In the first place by longing itself, but since we can only long for dead things it doubles the troubles. PS III:
PS III: So we killed the environment and now the environment is killing us. Isn’t that Karma? PS IV.
PS IV: O, by the way, I am not trying to sell you anything. And you don’t need to ‘subscribe’ or something like that either. I am not after you.
PS V: This (and the rest of the site) is my story. I hope, although hope isn’t part of real life either, it is of any value for you. I wish you a good life, not longing anymore, living in Nirvana.
Ronald.